Yaaaaasss giiiirrrrrllll, this is real! You are preparing to PLAN. A. WEDDING. And not just any wedding, YOUR WEDDING!

You’ve been dreaming of this day since you were young enough to play with baby dolls and barbies. I mean, how many times DID KEN MARRY BARBIE? Well, the time for dreaming is over, because the day has come!

I’ve been there, so I know, you are so excited to be committing to forever with the love of your life, but it also can be overwhelming, a little stressful, and confusing, and maybe you’re unsure of where to even start. I TOTALLY GET IT! I am here to help, whether you’re one of my own couples that I have sent this post to, or you landed here in a panic through pinterest or google, I am so excited that you landed here. I am honored to be part of a lot of weddings and I help a lot of couples navigate the planning process. Along the way, I have noticed a few things that can help make planning and the whole wedding day so much easier! I will share them with you here in hopes that you have the best experience possible!

Pop the champagne girl, cuz you gots this! Ok, here it goes:

1. Budget! Budget! Budget!

Planning an entire wedding is stressful enough and the expenses add up FAST no matter how much you pinch and scrimp. So, before you even open a tab for pinterest, YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN SPEND. If you’re picking up the tab, sit down as a couple and figure out how much you can afford. If it’s your parents footing the bill, sit down with them and discuss how far their dollar can stretch. It’s not the funnest part of wedding planning, but in my opinion, it’s the most important!

3. Figure out your MUST-HAVES!

Even though you have set a budget, you will feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions all at once: flatware, dishes, flowers, catering, bridal party gifts, and oooooohhhhh, what about fireworks? It’s gonna happen. So, when couples ask me, I always say, figure out your MUST HAVES try to limit it to two or three. Whatever that looks like for you. Maybe it’s dress, venue, photographer or venue, table settings, cake. Each couple is different with unique dreams, so whatever it looks like for you, just make sure that you know what your must haves are up front. Book the perfect venue for you, hire the photographer that you can connect with whose work makes your heart skip a beat, and buy THE DRESS that makes you look and feel like THE QUEEN you are! You can cut corners in other places, ask you friends to help with DIY. Maybe there’s someone in the family who makes beautiful desserts, get them on the hook. Heck, at my own reception to save on food, we prepared an entire turkey dinner, OURSELVES! When you know what is important to you, the planning process will become SO MUCH SIMPLER.

3. Time isn’t on your side, unless you schedule it to be!

I think the biggest mistake that I see couples make, is not giving themselves enough time on their wedding day. Understandably, they are trying to pack as much into their schedule as humanly possible, so they budget small amounts of time for each event, so when (trust me, this isn’t an if) run behind schedule, their whole day starts to feel stressful. If the ceremony is scheduled to take 40 minutes, give it an hour. You may start 10 minutes late and go over 10. Scheduling that tiny buffer into each event will give you the peace of mind that you need to relax and enjoy your day. If your guessing family photos will take 30 minutes, give it 50. Trust me, wrangling those family members can be tough! I could give you examples of why each thing that you plan will take longer than you think, but you’re a smartypants so you get the idea!

One of the best ways to keep the wedding day feeling calm and relaxed is to spend time talking to your photographer about how long he/she anticipates family photos taking so that you can all breathe and enjoy the experience together! (Although, a good photographer will make it seem like it’s effortless, even if they are feeling stretched for time, ahem, * insert my inner panic here * )

The truth is, It’s better to have an extra 10 minutes to enjoy talking with your loved ones, grabbing a glass of wine, or even adjusting your dress, than to be hurrying around in chaos mode because you didn’t plan enough time.

4. Empower the #bossbabe in your life!

Seriously girl, empower a bossbabe to coordinate on the day of your wedding. I’m not necessarily talking about a professional wedding planner, I’m talking a friend, family member or loved one who can help round up everyone during photos. The last thing that you or your bridal party wants to be doing during cocktail hour is running around looking for uncle bob or shouting at the top of your lungs trying to get all your family together for the right combinations of photos. The one thing that saves me a lot of time, and you a lot of stress on your day, is having someone (a friend, sister, brother, basically anyone who knows everyone) rounding up the troops for photos so that I can just call out the groups and click the photos. Skip the circus. Assign someone the task of rounding up your college girlfriends from across the room and the boys standing outside smoking cigars. Trust me, It’ll save you so much time and stress on your wedding day!

5. Hire vendors whose work you LOVE and that you TRUST undoubtedly!

This is probably the toughest part because it will require you to do a ton of research. Vendors play a huge role in the flow of your day. MOST IMPORTANTLY hire vendors you undoubtedly. Let me say that again in case you didn’t get it the first time: HIRE VENDORS YOU TRUST EXPLICITLY.

For example, if you hire someone to create your floral arrangements, make sure that they are someone who understands you vision for the day and creates a sense of ease when they explain their process to you. When you walk away from your first meeting, it should feel like love at first sight.

As a photographer, I would be remiss if I didn’t address this next issue and it’s HUGE: find a photographer who makes your heart explode when you talk to them and look at their work. They will be with you for all the important moments of your day and practically everywhere else, so it’s important that you feel like besties before you ever step foot in front of their camera. You want to make sure that you trust them to photograph your love story in a meaningful way, even if things go sideways (and they will). Thunderstorm? My photographer’s got this. The sun is too bright, no problem, my photographer knows what to do. No one set up the cake, oh yeah, photographer to the rescue. (inside tip: I am pretty much your go to girl when it comes to any emergency that may occur, I’ve set up cakes, bustled dresses, attached boutineers to tuxedos, tied shoes, and even removed stains from shirts). Your photographer will do some much more than tote their camera around on your wedding day. They will pretty much coordinate the entire day for you, especially if you don’t have a wedding planner. So make sure that the sun and moon sets on the fact that you LOVE everything that they have to offer you. The same is true for your coordinator, DJ, cater, etc. Make sure that you are certain they are the perfect match for you! You will be so much more relaxed knowing that your team is there to bring their A-Game on your big day.

6. Your wedding day is about YOU!

Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, your wedding is meant to about YOU! Make it about what you want. Whether that is eloping amongst the redwoods with just the officiant and your photographer or if that’s a humongous ballroom style wedding, make it be what you want it to be. Usually I would say consider others, but your wedding day is yours and no one else’s. Marriage is the single most important commitment you will ever make to another person, and this is the one time in your life you have permission to be selfish in your desires. While yes, you should honor others by taking their thoughts into consideration, your choices should ultimately come down to what you want. Heck if you want to wear a polka dot dress and striped shoes on your wedding day, even though that may be unconventional, YOU DO YOU! My challenge to the stereotype is WHO CARES? If it makes you happy on the biggest day of your life, GO FOR IT!

BONUS TIP

You could schedule a seperate photo session on a completely different day for you and your new spouce to get all dressed up in your wedding attire again and frolic around with a photographer. In other words, you may want to consider a bridal session to free up some time in your timeline! If your wondering if this might be right for you, check out my post Is a Bridal Session Right For You?

I hope that these few tips save you a lot of stress on your wedding day. If there are any questions that I can answer for you along the way, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

I believe in your girl! You are rad, and you’ve got this!

Chelsi is a destination wedding  and portrait photographer based in Fort Bragg, California. She loves to travel and will go anywhere to capture your life's sweet moments. She lives for seeing the world, capturing authentic love, and making people feel fabulous. Her style is authentic, real, and emotional. She believes in laughing too much, singing too loud, and most importantly living life to the fullest and prefers capturing every single authentic beautiful moment that evoke emotion over perfectly posed photos.